Distraction List
1) To practice my photography skill, even though i’m not good doesn’t mean i should stop doing what i love.
2) Get a job! keep sending resumes and shit.
3) New environment and new people.
4) Lost weight la FUCK! hahaha exercise or starve whatever just do it.
5) try to stay happy and have a positive mind.
6) Remember Allah never forget Allah no matter what. Always pray to allah and thank allah for everything.
7) Try to save as much money so can travel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
8) Start drawing, painting, using crayons and never stop.
9) LOVE MYSELF MORE~!
10) LOVE People who are still around me especially FAMILY!!!
is there somebody out there for me?
My mind and thoughts are clouded by images of him.
He will stay with me forever.
His in my future.
Or is he?
His not mine anymore.
i’m such a loser.
Realisation
When will I have that?
I’m still delusional.
Holding on to nothing.
I keep thinking if I hold on longer
He will come back.
But he isn’t.
We’re just friends now.
I still want to give us another chance.
Why can’t I just move on ?
Sigh.
Hiding from the world
That is what im doing.
Hiding behind this screen
Hiding in my room.
Not meeting my friends.
Not doing nothing else but eat
so hard to hide
when everyone else doesn’t know
but god and the family does.
I’ve been a zombie on most days.
I don’t talk if i don’t want too.
I don’t reply if i don’t feel like it.
I mean to whoever.
so..
If only the family doesn’t know.
If only people just stop talking about how happy they are.
If only you stop talking about all the different guys.
If only people just stop saying it hurts them to see me this way
I just want to be this way.
I’m not okay now.
I will be in time.
I hope.
I just want to cope with it
This way is the only way i know best.
when i needed you most you weren’t there
so should i be there for you now? im not a good person nor am i a bad person. Everything is just a mess now, i’m not sure how to sort it out. It maybe a short r/s to you but it still meant a lot to me. To come from being single for so long and to be brought down again to square one is not what i had in mind.
